Pearly Whites

teeth. i honestly loathe them. ever since i was a child i’ve had the english gene curse. as first grader i was stricken with a front tooth which would not slip into place. the only answer was to go under the knife and have a thin slice of gum cut out; in order to attach a brace to which would pull the tooth from gum world into the exposed. there i was at my class picture in the midst of classmates with cute holey smiles and me metal face.

my intense dislike of teeth has continued and progressed to wishing they were all made out of titanium which would function as normal ivories do. it would solve the problem of getting home late and stopping by the bathroom to paste up and scrub away when all your physical self wants is to lay down. the only draw back is i would become metal face once again.

i haven’t been to the dentist in probably 3 years. i don’t want to go one bit. but in the back of my mind i am haunted by the 3 minute timer my parents used to make sure we brushed long enough. i know my dental demise is inevitable if i don’t bite the bullet, but could i be the one who gets away with it? i really will never know.